Category: Blog

What happened to the dreams you had, and all the things you wanted to do?  You were young, enthusiastic, and excited, and life was full of possibilities.  Then life happened, children, bills, sickness, discouragement, divorce, death, etc.  The dream was put on life-support, and the plug may be pulled any day.  Or, maybe it died.  May it not, rest in peace, but may it be revived with a new vision, lest the dreamer die with the dream.  It is time to move from the dream to the vision. 

In dreams we get glimpse of what can be, which leads to wishing, wanting, and hoping.  In visions, we move from glimpses to full pictures, which leads to seeing, planning, and systematically working towards the fulfillment of the dream.  The clearer the vision, the more detailed the plan.  The more detailed the plan, the more effectively and systematically it can be implemented. 

Let’s never stop dreaming, but let us turn our dreams into visions, and our visions into plans. As we take the life-supports off our dreams, we can discipline ourselves to give them birth.  Just remember that our dreams can become visions, if we plan carefully and carry out the plan.  Sadly, the reverse is true also, a vision can become a dream if we lose focus, enthusiasm, and the will to carry it out.   The details of a vision will never be carried out without the will and discipline to carry them out step by step. While we may have had visions that faded into dreams, or dreams that turned into nightmares, we now have an opportunity to discipline ourselves for the successful realization of long overdue visions and dreams.

If you fall, get up.  If you get behind, catch up. If you don’t know, study.  If you can’t read, learn.  When you get angry, calm down.  When you get distracted, focus.  When you earn, budget.  If you’re lazy, work.  If you’re depressed, seek help.  If you’re wrong, apologize.  If you need help, ask.  If you’re lost, get directions.  If you’re tired, rest.  If you’re sleepy, wake up.  If you lied, tell the truth.  If you made a promise, keep it.  If you said you would, do it. 

Most problems have simple solutions, but most solutions have steps which must be followed, and most steps require formulas which must be learned.  If you can discipline yourself to learn the formulas and follow the steps, the problem is solved.  In the examples above, the common denominator is ‘you.’  The first step to fixing any of the problems above is fixing ‘you’.  The formula for resolving the problems above, is simple:  loss of control + self-discipline = problem resolved.  The daily practice of discipline will lead to success in every area of our lives.

Any attempt to appeal to reason based on emotional persuasion is a departure from reason.  When a child asks for a reason as to why something must be so and the parent responds, “because I said so,” we have a departure from reason.  When a person uses personal attacks, or unreasonable accusations to goad a person into an emotional response, it is generally because they have nothing else to use.  Yet, how often and easily do we get pulled into emotionally debates.  I would venture to say that most arguments between husbands and wives are driven by emotions rather than reason.  The child on the playground is provoked to fight because someone said something about his mother, having never seen his mother.  Political campaigns are run on the same basis, because we are an emotionally driven society. 

Even the political, racial, and social polarization that we see going on in our world today has evoked emotional responses on both sides of the divide.  I am not suggesting that one cannot have an impassioned reasonable response, but when the passion leads us off the path of reason we are treading on dangerous grounds.  Irrational emotions are promoted by the media in advertising, sensationalism in news reporting, and by ratings driven by feelings.  Success in all of these is determined by how people feel about things, rather than what they have thought out about things.

How do we stop the madness that has our world sitting on an emotional timebomb?  Just don’t take the bait.  We must discipline ourselves to think for ourselves and bring sound thinking and reason back to the forefront.  The next time someone says something to you, or you hear a news report or read something on social media that is designed to trigger your emotions, even if it is true, don’t take the bait.  Rational solutions can be made by emotional people who are not driven by their emotions, but this takes discipline.  In order to be disciplined for success we must be impassioned, but not provoked by fear, and our reason must not be a defense for our emotions. 

Whether waiting in line at a store, waiting for the results of an exam, waiting for a baby to arrive, or just waiting for times to get better, waiting is not easy.  However, the discipline that come in waiting is necessary for success in life.  Patience is developed in waiting, but only if the waiting period is used wisely to reduce frustration, accept the wait, and make progress towards one’s goals while waiting.  At some point in our waiting, we must realize that increased frustration only leads to impatience, and makes our wait time a waste of time.

When we are calm and thoughtful in our waiting time, we can use the time to plan, reflect, and evaluate, or simply enjoy the surroundings and the people.  Waiting is only wasted time if it is spent in frustration and anger.  The next time you find yourself waiting for someone, something, or some occurrence, try planning the rest of your day, planning the next conversation you will have with a loved one or business concern, use your cell phone notes apt to make a to-do-list, or calculate your expenses and income for your personal budget.

Waiting may not be easy but it can be extremely productive.  When we cannot control situations and circumstances, we can always control ourselves, if we are disciplined for success.

There are seven billion, 694 million people on earth, and I am one of them.  We have emphasized the individual for so long that we sometimes forget about the whole.  Our emphasis on individualism may be the cause of many of the problems we are facing in our world today.  When I watch the ants or the bees, I do not see them trying to get ahead of the group or get their portion at the expense of the group.  Whenever I see an ant or bee apart from the group, the seem to wander around with no purpose.  Purpose and mission not only seem to drive the insect world, but every living organism and systems of organisms.  Perhaps this why those who have served in the military, world-wide, experience frustration with civilians because of their selfishness and lack of mission orientation. 

There are great debates between the proponents of different systems of government as to whether the group is more important than the individual or vice-versa.  However, they all agree that the group can only survive by the discipline of the individuals in the group working for the good of the whole group.  Whether conscripted or volunteering, we cannot survive without one another.  While we have the privilege in many parts of the world to prosper individually, we must not do it at the expense of the other seven billion, 694 million people on the planet.  If you have great talent, great skills, or great wealth, don’t use it selfishly, because if the world goes down, you, your talent, skills, and wealth go down with it.  It does not matter whether there are two billion who may be against you, or you against them, it is time to work together for the survival of hive and the hill.  In every generation there have been those individuals who gave their lives to save others because they knew the value of the group.  If you are in position to enjoy life on the earth, enjoy it, but not egotistically or selfishly, do something to help others.  If you are not privileged at this time with wealth, do not selfishly cry in your soup, do something to help others.  Let us discipline our desires, so that we can discipline our actions, and when we are disciplined for success, others will join us. Just remember, if the ship goes down, we are all in it.

Have you lost the excitement in your life?  Do you look forward to everyday, expecting something good to happen?  You might think that more money, a new job, a new mate, a new location, or a new house would bring the excitement and joy back into your life.  I must tell you from experience and observation that all those things will not fill the void and can only serve as temporary fixes.  When a person’s freedom is taken away by the burden of things, people, and bills, freedom and peace can become more treasured than money and possessions.  Where did we go wrong, why do we not have freedom classes from grade school through college?  We need classes to teach us that our self-worth is cultivated from the inside, not from the things we possess on the outside.  Yet we continue to get our self-esteem from outside possessions, even from our exterior appearance. 

Confidence and self-esteem are not things you have to tell anyone you have, and it is not given to us by others.  Sure, we say that another person can build our self-esteem and boost our confidence, and this is true. However, just as a car battery receives a boost from another battery, if it is not able to continue to generate its own power, it will need a boost every time the engine is needed.  The self-esteem and confidence of some of us is so low that we may need a new battery.  Nonetheless, it is possible to get the charge you need to get going.  If you find yourself in the company of, or talking with, negative thinking and critical people, their negativity will drain your battery and lower your confidence.  Talk to and associate with positive people who do not mind sharing.  Soon you will find yourself in a more positive frame of mind.  However, please don’t stay long enough to drain their battery.  Get your charge and get going, because moving forward is the only way to keep your battery charged and make you strong enough to charge the battery of others. 

The lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is a major problem in youth and adults.  Because of the environment and culture in which many are born, their self-esteem has been robbed from them before they enter this world, or shortly thereafter.  Whenever you have a chance, give a word of encouragement to someone.  Complement someone.  Do something nice for someone.  Let someone do something nice for you.  Speak positive things whenever possible.  In doing this, we help others and ourselves, because who wants a world full of negative people.   In order to discipline ourselves for success, we must develop a new outlook on life.  Perhaps a trip to the mirror with a conversation about who you are, why you are here, and what you want to do while you are here, may make a difference in the way you approach each day.  Although we can value or devalue someone, our value does not come from others, it comes from God.  The same is true for the billions of people that live on our planet.  As your face shines with an assurance of your value, you will recognize the value in others and add value to their lives.

They stared longingly into each other’s eyes, declaring their undying long for one another.  Over the next few weeks and months they spend countless hours telling each other how much the other one means to them.  After living out the lyrics of every codependent love song ever written, will the earlier words of, “I need you and can’t live without you,” morph into, “I don’t want to see you anymore?”  When a desire becomes a need, an addiction or a hard habit to break is the certain result.  There is a difference between enjoying your favorite food or desert, and craving it to the point that you must have it. 
One of my greatest challenges in life has been learning how to distinguish between my ‘needs’ and my ‘wants.’  But the greater challenge has been learning how to fulfill my needs and regulate my wants.

Disciplined desire will keep an appetite from becoming a need or an addiction.  When sex, food, money, entertainment, or anything else controls me, I will become a slave to my desires.  I used to think that I merely had to get control over the thing I desired or was addicted to, but I discovered that that would only lead to an addiction to something else.  Have you ever seen a person quit smoking, only to become addicted to food?  Or a person ends an addictive relationship, only to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, another addictive relationship, or all three?  Or, a caretaker become addicted to caretaking?

Medicine treats the symptoms, helping us to get control over the thing to which we are addicted, and sometimes multiple addictions require multiple medicines.  Whether it is a need that was never met, or a desire out of control, medicine, knowledge, therapy, and other treatments are designed to help us regain control of ourselves but sometimes, they too become an addiction.  If our goal is healing, and not just treatment, we must discipline ourselves for the successful transference of power from the outside to the inside.  The Bible says, “It is better to have self-control than to control an army.” (Proverbs 16:32 TLB) With the help of God, meditation, prayer, fasting, and doing the work of disciplining myself, I have been prescription medicine-free for ten years.  As I gain more control over myself, I can identify my needs and regulate my appetites, treating the problem and not just the symptoms.

You know something needs to change in your life, but where do you begin?  Start right where you stand.  You cannot start where you want to be, for that is only in your imagination.  Look around and see what needs to be done and begin.  It has been said that a thousand-mile journey begins with the first step.  If there is a piece of paper at your feet, pick it up.  Do you see that stack of clothes on the dresser?  Put them away and organize your room.  Whatever it is that needs to be done in your environment that will help you to make progress on that thousand-mile journey, do it today.  Who knows, tomorrow you may only have 998 miles left to go.  Take a mental picture of what it will look like when you reach your desired destination and smile.  As you are moving along day by day, revisit that picture and smile again, but don’t stare into the future too long.

Each day you begin you will have two forces pulling on you.  Your past pulls you, either to regrets over failures, or pride over successes.  Your future will pull you to daydreaming and speculations.  Either of these forces can paralyze you and cause you to remain right where you stand.  You will need some things from your past, and you will need the picture of your future, but don’t fall into the trap of trying to carry the weight of either one.  You must plan your way to your future, and then you must complete part of the plan today.  If not, today will be a wasted day when it comes to accomplishing your goals.  You may turn around in circles today, and speak to many people along the way, but at the end of the day that piece of paper is still at your feet and the stack of clothes is still on the dresser. 

Sometimes we get stuck with our feet in the mud because we do not know where we want to go, who we want to be, or what we need to do to get there.  Sometimes our fear of the journey and what we must face along the way makes us sit down in fatigue, as if we were already worn out by the journey.  Well, speak to yourself, unclutter your mind, and take off that heavy jacket filled with baggage your brought from your past.  Pull both feet out of the mud, take a shower, and let’s get started.   As radio announcer used to say each morning, “today is a brand-new day, fresh, clean, and unused.”  Let’s use today wisely and well.  With just a little discipline, today we will be successful in moving towards our goals.

You have probably heard the saying, “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” Indeed, sometimes we get so bogged down in the details that we cannot step back and see the big picture. It requires a certain amount of mental discipline to do the work that must be done every day, and yet keep your eyes on the greater goal. When you lose sight of the goal it seems like you are working hard and going nowhere. You also tend to lose your direction because your work is not targeted towards any specific end. The goal then becomes, to just make it through another day.

The game of Chess is an example of why we must pay attention to the details and the big picture at the same time. If checkmating your opponent’s King is the goal, and you fail to pay attention to each move, study your opponent’s moves, and strategically advance towards your goal, you may make some good moves, but in the end that’s all you had, were good moves. If, on the other hand, your opponent is thinking strategically, conceding losses in order to make gains, all your moves will be in vain.

So it is, in our lives, we must have a goal so strong that it never gets lost in the day-to-day drudgery. We must study our moves before we make them, and we must, as my father use to say, “make every move count,” if we are going to be successful. So, if we study our moves, and always step back and look at the big picture, our moves will always be in line with our goals. Any work without purpose, mission, or a goal deadens the mind, and is like sitting in the waiting room to die. It reminds me of the mythical figure Sisyphus, who was banished to the eternal fate of having to roll a big boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down again, at which point he commenced to roll it up again. While that feat required a great amount of physical discipline, we want to be disciplined mentally, and in every other way, in order to have big picture success.

Just before the alarm goes off, you hear a voice that says, “it’s time to get up.”  You go back to sleep.  The alarm goes off, and you hear the voice again that says, “ok it’s time to get up.”  You say ok, but you hit the snooze button and go back to sleep.  Now your mind wakes up and you begin to complain in your mind about having to wake up, get up, and face another day.  Finally, after hitting the snooze button a few times you get up, but now you can no longer hear the voice.  Now your thoughts are racing, and you are rushing, or dragging, but this day starts off, as many days, with a complaint about having to get up, and get out of bed.  No worries, it’s all still good!  You start your day, and something occurs that may cause you frustration, and you hear that voice again, but very faintly this time.  Instead of listening more carefully, your mind takes over, and your feelings get involved.  Well, your day goes on and the voice is gone, and you are left with your thoughts and emotions to help you the rest of the day.

Have you ever wondered what the voice would have said to you at that moment of frustration when you began your day?  Perhaps the voice had an answer to the frustration, that would have caused you to smile, allowing your mind and emotions to rest at ease.  Can you imagine if you had not hit the snooze button, and immediately got out bed when the voice said, “it’s time to get up?”  Perhaps the voice would have said “it’s a good morning, let’s make this a great day.”  Or can you dare to imagine what might have happened, had you responded to the voice, before the alarm went off?  The voice may have said, “good morning, let’s get started and plan your day.”  Who knows, the voice may have said, “I woke you up early because I peaked ahead and saw what your day looks like, and I want to help you get prepared for the challenging moments, so that you can have an amazing day.

Well, you will never know how amazing that day could have been. ☹  However, here is the good news, tomorrow is another day, and the voice will return.  If you get up on the second call, you will have a good day, but if you get up on the first call, you may have an amazing day.  In fact, listen! Listen!  Did you hear that?  The voice never leaves you.  If you can simply discipline your ear to hear, and respond, not only will your day be successful but, God only knows what the week, month, and years ahead may look like.  Whoa, slow down, let’s deal with today!  In fact, let’s just listen and see what the voice is saying now.

The hardest person in the world to control is yourself.  Self-control and self-discipline are not needed when we are sleep but only when we are awake.  Unfortunately, they often wake up when we go to sleep and go to sleep when we wake up.  So, we dream about doing great things but when we wake up, we are often paralyzed and unable to do the things we dreamed about.  The 20^th century poet and writer, asked the question in a poem, “What happens to a dream deferred?” In his query, he suggests, “Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.”My mother was not a waster, but she wasn’t able to get rid of things.  Towards the end of her life the weight of her stockpiled things weighed on her.  Often, she would say, “I have to get upstairs or downstairs and get rid of some things.”  She passed ten months ago and the things are still being cleared out.  Could it be that we are weighed down with so many things that we can no longer lift ourselves from under the weight of our obligations, fears, and disappointments?  You put on ankle weights if you want to strengthen your legs to run faster.  You use an anchor weight to hold a boat in place.  Something must go if we are going to reach the places we saw in our dreams.  Whether you are 19 or 90, there is another destination to reach.  We must establish the discipline of offloading.  I realized, again, today that I must find a way to lighten the load so that this ship can sail, and this eagle can soar.  Let’s discipline ourselves, reduce our to-do-list, to a manageable load of one or a few major things, so that we can soar with success.

I believe everyone wants the world to change, but everyone is waiting for someone else to do it.  We all want many things to change in their lives, but if we honestly ask ourselves what we have done to diligently make those changes, I believe most of us would have to answer that we fall far short.  Perhaps it is not that we are lazy or unable to change, but too weak.  Discipline requires strength and determination.  One of the first things we must ask ourselves is “how much do I want this?”  If the desire is not strong enough to make you move as if you were on a mission for God, then perhaps you should abandon that goal, or make it a goal from another year or time.  In doing this you will not have to beat yourself up about what you are not doing or have not done. 

I have wasted a lot of time and energy in my life hoping without doing and wishing without working.  Frustration and disappointment can cause you to hit the pause button and realize weeks, months, or years later that you never hit play again.  It is time to remove the 8-track, cassette, CD, or thumb drive, and make a new plan and a new playlist, because the old one did not work.  There is still time for all of us to do something significant before we leave the planet.  We may have had some low scores in the past, but with a new mindset and renewed vision, we can finish strong and leave our contribution to the world.  We can all think of someone whose life continues to help us even though they are dead and gone. 

The greatest impact on the world has not been made by people who are written in the pages of history, or scene on television, but those who consistently did their best day after day.  It is time to successfully discipline ourselves to finish what we start or abandon it forever.  Life is too short to live with regrets, or die with the words, “I’m going to get to it as soon as…” scribbled on an old to do list.  It is time to tune-out the distractions, tune-in to the task at a hand, and tune-up for the mission ahead.

You said you knew but you didn’t.  You said you would, but you wouldn’t.  You said you could, but you couldn’t.    What is it that causes us to pretend we know what we don’t?  What is it that makes say we will, when we know we won’t?  What is it that causes us to say we can, when we can’t?  In each of these cases, we speak to give a certain image or perception of ourselves to another person, or even to ourselves.  When we maintain, or present, an image of ourselves that is based on lies, which is what happens anytime we boast of what is not true, we will not do, and we do not know.  Sometimes we present a false face for so long that we do even know the person behind the mask we wear.  Masks may not wrinkle, but over time, they can harden and be shattered like glass.  The more I come out of hiding behind the many masks I have worn, the more I realize that true freedom comes when I discipline myself to know the things that are hidden behind the image that I feel the need to show to others.

There is a certain amount of embarrassment that you must face when you begin to learn the truth about the internal reasons you have done certain things in your life and about the things that you hide from others now.  Most of us can probably say that there are times we have said to ourselves, “I am too embarrassed to say I don’t know,” “why did I say that I will call them, when I know I won’t,” “I’m in trouble now, I told them I couldn’t do this but it is impossible given.…”  A healthy sense of self-respect and value is based in knowing, living, and telling the truth about yourself.  Whenever you say that you don’t know what you don’t know, you cease being a know-it-all, and become open to learning something new, perhaps even from the person you may be speaking to at the time.  Whenever you know that you will not do something, or you need to have time to think about it, it takes courage to say so, and mean it, even under the pressure of criticism.  Whenever you say that you cannot do, what you know you cannot do, if it needs to get done, help is on the way.

To overcome these character flaws, we must discipline ourselves to tear down every false image of ourselves that we have presented to others, and to ourselves in the mirror.  Our false pride will begin to crumble, and our true selves will be seen by others, and we will feel more at home in our own skin.

Humility is the tearing down of false images of ourselves. When we are disciplined for success in being our truest self, others will find it easier to do the same.

When you do push-ups, you draw from your own strength, developing a certain set of muscles.  On the other hand, pull-ups require that you draw on the strength of something else or someone else.   It seems to me that life must have a push and pull factor for us to move forward. Just as a plane has thrust and lift to push from the ground, it requires the pull of the air provided through the suction on the wings to rise and remain in flight. As birds flap their wings, they received help from the air, which allows them to soar and glide.

Sometimes it seems like we must do everything on our own, but when we make our greatest effort to thrust forward, we find that help is all around us. Fear will always keep you grounded, but there is always someone around to pull you up, when you push up. If you read the biographies of great men and women, their greatness was not achieved by their efforts alone. A parent, teacher, friend, or stranger was always mentioned in their stories who helped them at critical times. Just as athletes on a field, land on the ground after a great effort, a teammate or an opponent, usually comes along and gives them a hand to help them up? We don’t have to look for the help, it usually comes after we have given our best effort. Just as physical development requires a balance between push-ups and pull-ups, success in all areas of our lives require the same balance.

Discipline is required to put in the work that is necessary to thrust forward, and discipline is required to receive help when needed. However, it is important to remember that the push and pull factors which keep our world in balance never come from selfish individualism. While we are pushing ourselves up and receiving the pull of others, we must pull others up also. Let’s us discipline ourselves for our own success, and for the success of our world.

Have you ever had a day when it seemed difficult to get going?  In fact, have you ever had a period in your life when it was difficult to get going every day? Over thirty years ago, I found myself in a state of depression in which it was extremely difficult to get out of bed.  While physically I was quite capable of getting up, my mental and emotional state had me paralyzed.  Many people experience a similar mental and emotional paralysis when trying to control their appetites, start an exercise routine, stop smoking, etc.  I discovered a few mental tools that helped me to get out of bed and to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  As I struggled to get out of bed, I tried to push myself, by saying, “I am going to get up on the count of three.”  So, I counted, “one,” “two,” “three.”  When I got to three, nothing happened, so this proved to be ineffective.  In my mind, I wanted to move but my willpower was not strong enough to move my body.  Instead of giving up on my plan I decided to reduce my goal to something I knew that I would achieve when I reached the count of three.  I had to match my willpower to my present potential, so I reduced my goal until my willpower was strong enough to move my body.          

Unless you have struggled with lack of willpower or depression, the goals I set after that may not make sense to you.  I realized that with any goal setting, the more successful you are in reaching short term goals the more likely you are to stay the course for your long-term goal.  Instead of saying that I would get up on the count of three, I said that I would put my feet on the floor on the count of three.  When that did not work, I said that I would put one foot out from under the blanket on the count of three.  When that did not work, I said that I would wiggle my toes and rotate my ankles on the count of three.  Bingo, I was successful!  After being successful at wiggling my toes and rotating my ankles on the count of three, I now progressed to putting my feet out from under the covers on the count of three, and then placing my feet on the floor on the count of three, standing up on the count of three, and so forth and so on. 

This may make getting out of bed seem like an arduous and painstaking task, but for me at that time it was, and for many people even this simple task can be difficult.  It was not simply this strategy of counting from one to three that empowered me, but that combined with the added component of keeping my word to without deviation.  I know the value of keeping my word to others; I had to learn the power of keeping my word to myself.  If my word is my bond, it must be bond to me first.  As Polonius told Laertes in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “and this above all, to thine own self be true; and then it follows and the night doth the day, that thou canst not then be false to any man.”  I told myself that I was going to do something, and I kept my word to myself.  These simple tools helped me to initiate and implement change in my life.  I still use these two tools today when faced with something challenging or something that I do not want to do.  If we are going to be disciplined for success, we must develop a “push” strategy for ourselves.

Have you ever taken a moment to breathe easy and suddenly heard the birds chirping, only to realize that they were chirping along?  There are sounds all around us that are clearly audible, but we often fail to hear because we are mentally and emotionally preoccupied.  Those who live by airports or railroad tracks will tell you that sometimes they don’t even realize a train has gone by or a plane has flown over.  Their ear has tuned out the background noise in order to hear the sounds in their immediate environment.  Have you ever had the experience of having something go wrong and then saying, “Something told me I should not have done that” or “I should have followed my first thought?” Unfortunately, we usually say that in retrospect, after we have ignored the voice in our head that said, “stop,” “wait,” or “don’t do that.”  I believe many prisoners have sat in jail or prison cells and said, “why didn’t I listen to the voice inside my own head?” 

Try listening more to the background noises around you like the traffic going by, or the dog barking down the street, the birds singing, or the water dripping in the sink.  Then try listening to the thoughts that play repeatedly in your head.  I believe some of us have been so overwhelmed or busy in life that we don’t realize that every thought occurs like a voice in our heads.  Often it is our unconscious thoughts that speak the loudest in our lives, like the low flying plane overhead, or the nearby train going by.  Many times, they are not even our own thoughts that are controlling us, but the voices of someone. 

If we discipline our ears to hear the voices from within, we may be surprised at the recordings of things said to us long ago.  Sometimes these are things that we heard and lived by, but found out later, we don’t really believe.  If we are going to be successful in overcoming differences in relationships, business, politics, religion, and throughout our world we must tune-in to the background voices that we have tune-out.  Whether we have gone deaf out of fear, pain, or busyness, we need disciplined ears to hear in order to progress.  In fact, the most creative and productive people in the arts, in entertainment, the sciences, etc., have listened to voices that others tuned-out and have made great contributions to our progress in the world.  If we are going to be disciplined for success, we must have a disciplined ear to hear the heart of the matter in all relationships and all endeavors, and ultimately, we must listen for the voice of God.

Yesterday I wrote on the wounds of the heart as being a major cause of the suffering that goes on in our world.  I offered spiritual discipline as a means of healing the wounds of the heart.  Today I want to offer two spiritual tools that were essential in my healing.  Love and forgiveness are the most powerful tools, that I have found with heart healing power.  We have all wounded others, whether intentional or unintentional.  Whoever wounded us had to be wounded themselves.  Almost like cookies on a computer, wounds leave a reference point on the hard drive of our hearts, minds, and even our bodies.  Just as the cache of our computers must be cleared to keep old websites from accessing our computers, our hearts, minds, and bodies must be cleared in order to keep old hurts to keep from having continual access to our hearts.  Forgiveness is a way of clearing the cache in our hearts and love heals the pain and reprograms us for positive heart health.  This does not mean we always forget the past, but forgiveness with love makes the story more powerful and allows all parties to have a future without continual strife.  Wherever there has been brokenness, between people or nations, we need to find a way to own our part, ask for forgiveness, forgive, and live without malice going forward. 

In order to forgive, it helped me to recognize that I had been forgiven, and that I could only be free to live freely when I forgave those who had hurt or offended me.  The discipline of forgiveness requires more than the simple statement of “I forgive you.”  In fact, it is not a statement at all.  For deep and hidden pain, it requires a journey into the pain of the body, the thoughts of the mind, and the hurt of the heart to understand what, and who, you must forgive.  Love and forgiveness go together.  When I experienced the love of God in the place of my pain, I learned to forgive the person I thought was responsible for the hurt so that they too could experience the love of God.  If I do not want them to experience the love of God, I have not truly forgiven them.  Self-examination is a daily discipline that enables us to understand our hearts and minds better.  If we are going to be successful in saving our marriages, our families, our nations, and our world, we must first begin with a daily examination of ourselves. 

I believe the heart must be disciplined, just as we discipline the mind and body.  Yet they all must work together in order to maximize success in any area.  If the heart has been hurt or broken it stresses the mind, and when the mind is stressed it affects the health of the body.  It is difficult for a person who is hungry, hurt, abused, or overwhelmed to focus, so the heart affects our ability to function mentally and physically.  A person with a broken bone may have a splint or cast to help the healing, those who have wounded hearts have crutches which help them endure the pain.  I believe that most of the problems that we have in the world can be traced back to wounded hearts.  When I talk to young men in prison or who are gang involved, invariably there is an anger that is expressed regarding their fathers.  Whether I am talking to a racist, a dogmatic religious person who is very judgmental, a man who hates women, or a woman who hates men, underneath their hatred and hardened exterior, I hear the voice of a broken heart. 

A songwriter once asked the question, “How can you mend a broken heart?’ I used to think that if I knew enough about a problem, I could solve it, but I realized that a doctor can drink or smoke too much, and a psychiatric can have a mental breakdown.  So, the answer in not found in my mind.  As a runner, I know that running and cardiovascular exercise can release endorphins in the brain which can help with depression, reduce blood pressure, and help with a myriad of other health problems.  Yet, my knowledge and my body often fail to cooperate, so the answer is not found in my body.  I discovered that for my body and mind to work together, I must oversee both.  But who am I if I am not my heart, my body, or my mind?  I am a spirit with a body, mind, and heart. In order to successfully manage my life, I must discipline my spirit and through my disciplined spirit I can discipline my mind, heart, and body.

Two ways I discipline my spirit is through fasting and prayer.  I find that it not only helps me, but it helps others also.  On Sunday, March 3^rd I issued a global warning from the pulpit, and my brother and I issued it again on Wednesday, March 6^th and Wednesday, March 13^th in a video which is on my blog, http://disciplinedforsuccess.com/blog/global-warning.  I ask any one who reads this post to take some time out to pray and fast for change in ourselves and our world.  This is my sixth day of a forty day fast, drinking only water, and I am believing God for change in me and in our world.  Discipline is not easy, but it is necessary if we are going to change our course in this world.

Most of us have something in our lives for which we have been ashamed.  Until we can reckon with our past, our present and future will always be shackled to our past.  This reckoning may mean forgiving and accepting ourselves.  It may mean forgiving and accepting someone else, a group, a nation, a race, etc.  When we can accept the good, the bad, and the ugly of our past, we will never be able to see the beauty that came out of the pain and perhaps because of the pain.  When I think of the strength, insight, and wisdom I gained from my ordeal with mental illness, two marriages which ended in divorce, and being exiled from the Pastorate for twenty-five years, my reckoning and reconciliation turns my shame into gratefulness.

To be grateful for your life with all its twists, turns, and dips is a gift.  The key is to always look for ways to turn the negatives into positives.  It is difficult to forgive yourself and those who hurt you, but it is a great blessing to be able to live free from the shame, hurt, and embarrassment.  Once we reconcile with our past and share it, the burden of shame and guilt melts like ice and snow melting from a rooftop.  As we emerge from the fall and winter, a new season arrives allowing us the opportunity to become renewed also.  Regardless of how bad things are or will become, when the storm passes over, the cleanup begins, and life resumes.  Three U.S. cities, New York (1776), Chicago (1871), and Atlanta (1917) were devastated by great fires causing major destruction, but the rebuilding of those cities made them even greater in beauty and influence.  If we discipline ourselves for success daily, with the help of God, we can experience rebirth every day, and turn yesterday’s ashes into tomorrow’s beauty.  It is never too late to change.

A popular soap opera opened with these words, “Like the sands of the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.”  Our lives have been referred to as a candle, a leaf on the wind, and a match that has been struck and will soon burn out.  It is estimated that almost 7,500 people die every day in the United States and 151,000 every day in the world.  Whether you are 16 or 86 your days are numbered, and the clock is ticking.  My father, a former sergeant in the Army, used say, “make every move count” and my scoutmaster, a former sergeant in the Marines, used to tell us to “get the lead out.”  I don’t know what is weighing you down, holding you back, or causing you to waste time by turning in circles, but it is time to get busy living our lives as a story well told. 

When we have a goal that we want to accomplish time becomes precious.  When our life has a purpose to fulfill before dying, it is critical that we use the time we have wisely.  Our lives do not have to be “a tale told by an idiot” as Shakespeare’s Macbeth said, and we can shine bright enough to leave a powerful afterglow in the world before our ‘brief candle’ goes out.  Each one of us has 24 hours in a day, if we discipline ourselves and use our time wisely, we will be successful in leaving the gift of a life well used to those who live on after we are gone.  If we are disciplined for success our contribution to the world will inspire and encourage others to see every tick-tock of the clock as a gift, to be spent in life and served in death.