Author: disciplinedforsuccess

When you are going through a crisis, a rough time, or a storm in your life, it is impossible to see the landscape clearly.  The most important thing is to survive the storm until it is safe.  After a hurricane, the survivors and crisis responders can now assess the damage and begin the cleanup and restoration process.  If you were born in a time of crisis in your family, or in the world, the crisis and the aftermath may seem to be normal because you have nothing for comparison.  If you were born into, what others would call a dysfunctional environment, you have no first-hand knowledge of a functional environment. 

Sometimes it is necessary to evaluate what we call normal and functional by stepping outside of our situation to look around.  Other cultural viewpoints, science fiction, other creative fictional writings, daydreaming, and often spiritual viewpoints give us glimpses into what other realities may look like.  Before we can have a new world or a new worldview, we must first imagine.  Take cover in a cave from the windstorms, evacuate the hurricane danger zone, and take shelter from the tornadoes, but find a place where you can let the dust settle and find peace, to just imagine a new reality.  Now keep vision in mind and, as the dust settles, begin the task of building ‘a whole new world.’

When I view life as an obstacle course, I realize that barriers and problems are merely things that I get over, go around, or go through.  When you encounter obstacles in life sometimes you may get muddy, and other times you may get wounded.  When facing obstacles, we can either be encouraged and push forward or become discouraged and quit.  If you are determined to face and overcome every obstacle in your way, with each obstacle, you gain confidence and strength for the next one.  Just as obstacle courses are not designed to be easy, no matter where you are on the planet and what your station in life may be, you will have difficult times and challenges to overcome.

Being disciplined to successfully navigate the obstacles we must face means that we must develop a mindset that says, there is no obstacle that I will not face and meet to the best of my ability, even if we must say as the writer of Invictus wrote, “My head is bloodied, but unbowed.”  Determination will beat strength and endurance with trump speed. As Tennyson, the 19^th century poet through the eyes of determined old men wrote,

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

Barriers are not insurmountable borders, rather they build character and heroic human beings.  As Chinua Achebe once said,

“ As a rule I don’t like suffering to not purpose. Suffering should be creative, should give birth to something good and lovely.”

So, if we can see the beauty beyond the barriers, we will endure whatever it takes to get there.

Wisdom dictates that we use our time and resources wisely because we are on a limited timeclock.  It has been said that if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, he can feed himself for a lifetime.  If you spend everything you earn, you will be broke.  If you save and invest a portion of what you earn, and only live within a budget of your earnings, there may come a day when your money will earn money for you.  If you borrow, you will be in debt, and “the borrower is slave to the lender.”

Investments are not always monetary, and how we invest our time and resources will determine how well we live our lives.  Investments are always related to time, and whether we invest in children, education, real estate, or financial markets, we are looking for a return on our investment over time.  Of course, everyone wants the fastest return possible on their investment, but some investments will only yield results and growth over long periods of time.   If we only look for the fast return, we display a ‘get-by’ and a ‘live-for- today’ mentality.  When we invest for the long run, we consider the next generation and the future beyond our time here on the planet. 

So, if you are investing time and resources in something that is not, and will not, yield a return, it is time to divest.  If you are investing time and resources in something that only yields a return for the greedy and the selfish, it is time to divest.  If you only invest in get-rich-quick schemes and those things that only give you immediate gratification, it is time to divest.  If your investments make the rich richer, and the poor poorer, it is time to divest.  If your time and resources are invested in ways that destroy others, or the planet we live on, it is time to divest.

If your relationships suffer because you have invested your time and resources poorly, it is time to reinvest.  If your health is failing because you neglected to see the long-term value of investing in healthy living, it is time to reinvest.  If your mind and spirit are deadened and numbed, it is time to reinvest.  Wisdom may dictate that we expand our understanding of wealth, economics, and time and resource management.  Supply side, and trickle-down theories of economics, help to create wealth for a limited number of people.  In fact, most of our economic and investment theories are not designed to distribute wealth or make it possible for others to share in the wealth acquisition process.  Perhaps we need to develop a boomerang philosophy of economics and investments.  Just as you throw the boomerang and it comes back to you, this philosophy of economics and investment would be based on the principle that says you become wealthy by giving rather than taking, and by investing to reinvest in the lives of others, and for future generations.  If we are going to be disciplined for success, it cannot be our success alone, or for our generation alone. 

The greatest armies are those whose soldiers can be an army alone and together.  One disciplined and trained soldier can defeat an army of poorly trained and undisciplined soldiers.  I believe we can take a lesson from soldiers in training if we are going to become managers of our own lives.  Every soldier has feelings but their training dictates that they master their feelings in order to be sharply focused in battle.  Unfortunately, it is our feelings that defeat us before the enemy has a chance to defeat us.  A shrewd fighter knows how to cause their opponent to become emotional, and an emotional fighter, no matter how well trained, cannot be focused in battle.  Similarly, when our emotions get the better of us, we lose our discipline and our ability to focus on the task before us. 

Being disciplined for success requires management of our feelings.  Feelings are important and good to have, but when they are in control of us, we cannot be in control of ourselves.  A quick temper or a fearful timid demeanor can prevent us from being effective in the battle for success.  Neither anger nor excitement, can throw a good soldier off track.  If you train and prepare each day with only victory in mind, you cannot be defeated.  If nothing can deter you from your goals, you cannot be defeated.  If no one can push your buttons and cause you to become driven by your feelings, you can become an army of one.  If you prepare your mind, discipline your body, and become ‘the boss of you,’ you will defeat the enemy of defeat and, even if death takes you, you have won.  Again, I say, “if you master yourself, you cannot be mastered by anyone, or anything, and if God is your master, you cannot be defeated.”  If we become an army of one, in an army of many, we will all experience the victory.

Yesterday I asked a young lady what she wanted to do with her life.  She replied that she did not know. So, I asked her what skills she had, and again she had difficulty answering the question.  Finally, I asked her what kinds of things she enjoyed doing, and while she mentioned a few things, she replied, “you ask some very hard questions.”  I told her that if she can discover what she is good at, and what she enjoys doing, she could probably find a way to earn a good living doing something she enjoyed. 

After reflecting on the conversation, I concluded that maybe so many people are irritable and unfulfilled because they are not using the skills they have, and are not doing what they enjoy.  The young lady I spoke to, was nineteen years old, and had just finished a 14-hour shift at work.  She was happy to have a job because it allowed her to pay her rent and take care of herself.  Her present ambition was to save enough money to buy a car.  I suggested to her that if she discovered and used her skills, and did what she enjoyed doing, she would earn a very good living.  I also suggested that she think long-term and save and invest her money so that twenty years from now, she would not only be working for her money, but her money could be working for her earning interest and dividends.

Yes, success requires discipline, but discipline does not have to be difficult or depressing, only maintained.  So, if you have skills that you put on the shelf and are not using, or if you have shelved the idea of enjoying your work, it is time to take them off the shelf.  You can do something you enjoy doing wherever you are, and you can use at least one of your skills on any job.  Let’s take some things off the shelf and become disciplined for success.

Today I had a conversation with myself.  Yes, I know what they say about talking to yourself.  Nevertheless, it was not an easy conversation to have because it is not always easy to be honest with myself.  Sometimes it is difficult to look at the facts, because the ‘alternative facts’ require less honesty and less work.  Being honest with myself means that I must look at those places that need growth and change and take full responsibility for making the changes.  It also requires that I revisit my hopes and dreams to see if they are realistic, and to see if I am willing to put in the amount of work and effort it will take to bring them to life.

Yes, it was a difficult conversation because I discovered that I was frustrated because I was looking for situations, circumstances, and other people to change for me to become successful in fulfilling my dreams.  Well, my honest self said that it is time for me to change.  If situations, circumstances, and the actions or decisions of other people become the hinge on which I hang my hopes, then those things or persons will control my life.  Being disciplined for success and becoming the boss of me may mean changing my hopes and dreams.  It may mean going in a new direction.  It may mean deciding to ‘boldly go where I have never gone before.’

Well, myself and I decided to make a list of changes we can make that do not require others or circumstances to change.  It was a good conversation and I feel like we made some progress towards becoming the boss of me that I want to be.  For now, we are going to table the discussion and hopefully pick up the conversation again tomorrow. 

It is going to take time and effort to complete your mission.  If we are going to finish our lives well, we must use our time wisely and focus our efforts to perform with excellence.  Time slips away quickly and most of us can look back and wonder where the time.  We have technology and access to information that can help us to maximize our time and use our efforts more productively.  prepare yourself to put in structured time and focused effort.  Unfortunately, our technology has helped us waste more time and with information overload, we often do not know how or where to concentrate our efforts. 

The good news is that just as time unconsciously slips away, time can also be consciously managed and used productively.  The key to time management is self-management.  If you can manage yourself, you can management your time. 

Is your energy tank running low? Do you sometimes ask yourself if it is worth the struggle and the frustration?  If so, then today is a good day to be revived and revitalized.  Put your feet in the refreshing waters of hope and bask in the light of unexpected possibilities.  Revival signifies coming back from death or near death.  Revitalization brings images of makeovers and renewal.  No matter how old or young you are, you can get weary, but the amazing thing is that you can also be resuscitated, reinvigorated, and revitalized at any age.  We must begin with the discipline of speaking it out, and then employ the discipline of walking it out.  So, let the weak say, “I am strong, and strengthen the feeble knees.”

 

What we speak repeatedly, combined with taking steps in the directions of our words, determines what happens, and ultimately where we go, in our lives.  As we say what we are going to do, do what we say, and continue to move in that direction, our atmosphere will have to shift.  It has been said that if you say something long enough, you, and others, will begin to believe it.  So, why not begin today to revive your enthusiasm, resuscitate your dreams and visions, and speak them long enough, and strong enough, that your hands and feet will have to follow the directions of your heart.  As the 19^th century poet, Henry David Thoreau, wrote,

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success in uncommon hours.”

Try looking in the mirror, speaking your dreams and visions aloud to yourself, until you exhale the old and inhale the new.  As you discipline your hands and heart for a new direction, may you find new ‘pep in your step’ and new provisions for your visions.

Not everyone learns the same and not everyone processes information the same.  From my observation it appears that we all have unique ways of learning and processing information.  While some of us may learn better by hearing, others by seeing, others by touching, and still others by thinking and reading, each of us have unique ways of using common tools.  Consequently, no style of learning will fit any of us perfectly like a glove. 

Sometimes we use cookie cutter methods, attempting to put everyone into the same mold.  We do not all look alike, or have the same fingerprints, retina scans, or voice signatures.  For this reason, it is important that we bring our uniqueness, specialness, and special gifts to the world.  In order to be free to be ourselves and freely give our gifts to the world, we must recognize that we all have special needs.  When our needs are met on multiple levels, we find it easier to give, and give of ourselves to others. 

The lyrics of a once popular song said, “be yourself, no matter what they say.”  However, being ourselves is difficult when we are trying to conform to what others need or want us to be.  Perhaps we need to learn to live as ‘aliens’ and citizens at the same time.  This way will not become photocopies of one another and yet appreciate one another for what each of us brings to the table.  Disciplining ourselves to be successful in what we are designed to be, requires that we know our special needs and special gifts, and that we get over the fear of meeting and using them.  It also, means recognizing and respecting the same for others.   

If you know how far you want to go, and how fast you can travel, you can calculate how long it will take you to get there.  For example, a car traveling 60 miles at a pace of a mile a minute, will arrive at the destination in one hour if there are no stops or delays.  If you know where you want to go, and establish a reasonable pace, you can determine roughly how long it will take you to get there, if there are no stops or delays.  Or, you can account for the stops and delays in your calculation, and you will still know roughly how long it will take to get to your destination. 

In life we often try to run at someone else’s pace, rather than running a pace that is comfortable and realistic for us.  The adjustments we make trying to keep us with the Joneses often put us further behind rather than ahead.  Your life is your race.  The most successful runners know to run at a pace they can maintain for the duration of the race.  In long distance races, sometimes a pacer will run only the first third of the race setting a faster pace to help the elite runners start faster and finish earlier.  Those who are conditioned for the faster pace can maintain it for the duration of the race, but those who are not must slow down or dropout.  

Once you know your pace and how long you can maintain it, it will be easier to calculate your daily distance run.  Pace is always associated with rhythms and beats.  Henry Thoreau once wrote, “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.”  Step lively, it’s your life, your race, your pace!

Sometimes is it good to draw memories from our past, not to nurture regrets or rekindle remorse, but to see if we are progressing or regressing.  What lessons have we learned?  It has been said that those who fail to learn from the mistakes of their past are destined to repeat them.  Situations and circumstances may change in our lives but if our character, and the way we think, does not change, we will always take the old mindset into new situations.  Consequently, many who have been in multiple marriages or relationships find some of the same problems in each relationship.  You can put a thief in prison, where he or she cannot steal, and if their character does not change, when they are released, they will still be a thief. 

Just because a person or group has been set free from physical slavery, does not mean that they will cease to behave like a slave.  Likewise, just because masters have released slaves, does not mean that they have ceased to behave like masters.  Both the slave and the master must have a mental, emotional, physical, psychological, economic, political, and spiritual overhaul in order to be set free from old patterns of behavior.  Wherever there is conflict, hurt, or abuse both the victim and the perpetrator must be offered an opportunity and invitation to undergo a makeover.  Otherwise the victims will be revictimized, because they only know how to be victims.  Abusers will discover more subtle ways to abuse, and masters will find more sophisticated ways to enslave.   

Whichever side of power, manipulation, abuse, slavery, or colonization you are on, our future will depend on whether we can free ourselves and become the bosses of ourselves.  A beggar does not have to steal.  Parents do not have to abuse and control one another, or their children. Slaves or former slaves do not have to fear masters, or former masters, if they learn to master themselves.  Masters do not have to fear retaliation from slaves or former slaves, if they can enslave or master themselves and relinquish the need, desire, or drive to control and dominate others.  Our success depends on our ability to discipline ourselves, and break the chains of domination, whichever end of the chain we are attached.

All roads lead somewhere, if only to a dead end.  If you live on a dead-end street, then that road leads to home for you.  Otherwise, being on a dead-end street with no purpose or intent, you may just be lost.  There are other roads and routes that extend across the country.  Being on one of those roads could lead to endless and aimless travel if no purpose or destination has been established.  Traveling through life without goals or destinations can leave us vulnerable to the road and anyone on it.  If we have no purpose, we become prey to those who would use us to fulfill their own desires. 

Sometimes in life we feel safer when we travel a well-traveled road, thinking that since many people are going that way, this must be a good road to travel.  Yet, your life’s purpose may lead you down a lonely, seldom traveled road.  If it does, you will never be comfortable or at home on the well-traveled road.  The key to success on any road is knowing where you are going, and not being dissuaded by anyone on or off the road.  Every road has its own dangers and pitfalls so why not take the one that leads to the fulfillment of your own purpose.

If we come into this world with our destination preset, then the only place we will truly feel content and fulfilled is on the road that leads to the address in our personal GPS.  Just as pigeons have a homing device, we too have something in us that leads us to our destination.  There may be rest stops, pit stops, and other stops along the way but let your GPS guide you the place where you are at home in your purpose.  If you follow my GPS, you may wind up at my house, but if you follow your own GPS, you will always find your way home, and be at home wherever you are.  Success comes when we discipline ourselves to follow our own road.

Today is the only day that we have.  We had yesterdays and we may have tomorrows.  We lived through our yesterdays and hope to live to see our tomorrows, but today is the only day we can live in.  Whatever you can do today, do it, because it will never get done tomorrow.  You can plan for tomorrow, but you can only work today.  So, if you are planning to do something tomorrow, or some time in the future, I must tell you that it can only be done on a day called, ‘today.’  While this may sound like doublespeak, I find that reminding myself of the importance of ‘today’ helps me to place greater value on my time. 

How many times have we come to the end of a day and wondered where the time went?  Or asked, “what did I do with my time today?”  Without stressing ourselves out, or wearing ourselves down, we can accomplish so much more in a day if we place greater value on our moments.  Placing value on moments does not only mean working smarter or harder, it also means valuing our moments or rest, and our pleasure time.  It is sad to see a father or mother work themselves to death trying to achieve a standard of living for themselves and their children, and never make time to take walks with together or with their children.  It is sad when we live day after day without sharing our hearts with those whom we love, always hoping for a better tomorrow. 

‘Yesterday’ and ‘tomorrow’ could very well be the enemies of ‘today’, particularly when what we want to see, achieve, or become could be done today.  Our ‘todays’ must be disciplined by love and wisdom for us to make the most of each ‘today’, and our short time here on earth.

Some days it is just difficult to get yourself in gear.  Whenever I have one of those moments or days, I resort to an old counting strategy I have used for many years.  Over thirty years ago I experienced a state of depression which made it extremely difficult for me to get out of bed.  While physically I was quite capable of getting up, my mental and emotional state had me paralyzed.  Many people experience similar mental and emotional paralysis when trying to make even the slightest changes in their lives. 

The counting strategy I used only worked because I promised myself that whatever I said aloud that I would do, I made sure that I kept my word to myself.  Initially, as I struggled to get out of bed, I tried to push myself, by saying, “I am going to get up on the count of three.”  So, I counted, “one,” “two,” “three.”  When I got to three, nothing happened, so this proved to be ineffective.  Instead of giving up on my plan I decided to reduce my goal to something achievable. Instead of saying that I would get up on the count of three, I said that I would put my feet on the floor on the count of three.  When that did not work, I said that I would put one foot out from under the cover on the count of three.  When that did not work, I said that I would wiggle my toes and rotate my ankles on the count of three.  Bingo, I was successful!  I then progressed to putting my feet out from under the covers, placing my feet on the floor, standing up on the count of three, and so forth and so on.  Eventually, I would simply say, “On One” and I would move.

What strategy can you use today that will propel you to success? If you discipline yourself and use it, no struggle will hinder you from achieving success. 

Setbacks? Disappointments? Mistakes? Most of us have experienced these, and if you haven’t, be prepared, you will.  You will get tired along the way but wait for your second, third, and fourth wind to come along, catch your breath and push on.  This is no time to quit.  If you think you’re too old, think younger.  If your dreams have died, dream new ones.  You can fulfill someone else’s dreams, but you can only dream your own.  However, do not sleep on your dreams, but wake up every day and work them out, walk them out, and do all you can to bring them to life.

Yes, it is time to push yourself, encourage yourself, and set your face with determination.  Determination can only come from within.  As today’s dreams come true, dream new ones, and never stop dreaming.  Dreaming and working, and working and dreaming, our imaginations can take us places in dreams that our determination and effort can produce in our lives.  If we start dreaming small dreams, our success will lead to bigger dreams.  Dream dreams and envision living the dream!

A disciplined imagination can forge a dream, and disciplined dreams can produce determination, and determination will bring disciplined effort.  In the process of time, success has been achieved, dreams have come true, and it is time to dream again.  Never stop dreaming and never stop making dreams come true!

In the biblical Garden of Eden, the human being was created by God and given the authority to govern themselves.  The only rule or law was to obey God.  The consequence of good governance was daily companionship with God, access to every beautiful and pleasant thing in the Garden, and peaceful companionship with one another.  The consequence of poor governance or violation of that one rule meant losing access to the garden, losing daily onsite access to God, and having the inevitable consequences of overemployment, underemployment, and unemployment.  Having lost the freedom of self-rule, they now had the burden of self-governance.  With God’s presence and the peace, wealth, and security of the Garden gone, moral, social, political, and economic problems arose, continually threatening their survival. 

Countless years later, with the population of earth having swelled to over seven billion people the problem of governance remains.  Great minds have argued the benefits of one form of human government over another, but it seems to me that highest form of governance is still self-rule that was granted in the Garden of Eden.  Perhaps as we look at our religious, political, ethnic, racial, and national histories we will find that our greatest divisions and the greatest threats to our continued existence have come when we missed opportunities to emulate, teach, and encourage self-rule under God.  The teaching of every major religion point to self-rule under the authority of their God. In my own faith, Jesus was crucified because he dared to rule himself in order to obey God. 

While we need parents, teachers, leaders, and governments, as guides, regulators, and emulators, we cannot regain the freedom of self-rule until no person, place, or thing can hinder us from returning to the Garden of God’s presence with daily visitations. 

It is time for all the good people of the world to rise and let our lights shine.  It is time to come out of obscurity and bring goodness, kindness, appreciation for others, honesty, generosity, fairness, and fearlessness to the forefront.  It is time to shine from the remotest parts of the world.  It is time to shine when no one is looking and when it seems that it will not make a difference.  It is time to shine in our imagination and in our thoughts.  When our thoughts and our imagination are enlightened, invariably our actions and our surroundings will reflect the light also.  Shine because that is what you were created to do.  Shine, not simply because God is looking, but because it makes God and people smile also.

Sometimes we have a tendency hide our light to avoid conflict or for fear of having our ‘lights put out,’ but now is the time to be very courageous and outshine the darkness. If anyone, any situation, or any negativity can cause you to dim your light, then that person, place, or thing controls the dimmer switch of your light.  In order to shine out of the darkness you must be the boss of your light.  We all must die, but if you must die in the face of darkness, die shining.

As we rise and shine, in public and in private, our collective lights will create a light so powerful that darkness will have no place to hide.  So, the next time you are tempted to go dim, take courage, rise and shine, and watch the world and the environment change around you.  If we discipline ourselves to shine brighter and brighter, then we do our part to make the world a better place.

It takes a great deal of courage to take control of yourself in a world where power is abused or where you have been abused by power.  The abuse of power is designed to create cowards, but every now and then an aberration or anomaly occurs and instead of producing cowardice it spawns courage in the one who has been abused.  Nagging wives, overbearing bosses, controlling husbands, overprotective parents, opinionated friends, and anyone trying to control another person may do so because they themselves have been abused by power.  However, the greatest freedom from control and the abuse of power comes not in taking power from another person but in giving power to them. 

Parents really would like to see their children make wise independent decisions.  They really would like to see their children take control and manage their own lives well.  The problem is that parents often tend to take control from them, rather than giving it to them.  Charitable programs and government assistance may be given with good intentions but often their implementation makes the recipient more controlled, and less able to become independent and self-managed.

If we can be abused by power, even with good intentions, it is even more imperative that we find ways to set ourselves, and the rest of captive humanity, free to become the boss over our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  Our wise use of power will then enable us to use our resources, talents, and money for the shared benefit of our world.  The more I discipline myself, the more I discover that managing myself means releasing control of others.  The more control I release, the more control over myself and my life I gain.

If you read my earlier blogs, you probably noticed the recurring call to ‘be the boss of you.’  I have discovered that most of the problems in my life and I believe in the world are related to control.  There seems to be a prevailing need in our world for one person to have power over another person.  From parents trying control their children, to supervisors trying to control employees, to nations trying to control nations.  I believe that the most powerful person in the world is not the person who has power over other people but the person who has power over his or her emotions, thoughts, body, and spirit.  I always say to those with hair trigger tempers that it would be easy to control them by simply knowing what pushes their buttons and finding a way to strategically push them. 

I believe that if you master yourself, you cannot be mastered by anyone or anything and if God is your master, you cannot be defeated.  Food, money, sex, power, attention, love, and so much more can be used to control us if we have not learned to control ourselves.  I always say that anything you cannot say no to can be used to control you.  The most difficult person to control is not the person who is out of control but the person who is in control of themselves.  This is simply because you cannot find anything they want bad enough, to give up control of themselves.  This kind of person also knows that real power comes from empowering others, not in taking power from them, or trying to control them. I contend that any attempt to control another person is an abuse of power.

To be disciplined for success is to be disciplined to see others succeed also.   

Many retailers and manufacturers have return policies which state the conditions under which a product may be returned for a full or partial refund, or whether a store credit will be given.  I am discovering that life also has return policies.  My observation leads me to believe that no matter how smart, rich, slick, or debonair you are, you cannot cheat the manufacturer.  My mother used to say, “son you can’t do wrong and get by.”  My father used to tell me, “Son the Bible says, ‘be not deceived for God is not mocked whatever a man sows that will he also reap.”  He would then say that his mother would add, “you may sow it in the rain, but you will reap it just the same.”  Based on my experience, the only caveat I would add is that sometimes there can be such a delay on the return that it may seem as though you got by or escaped.  So, I have learned that the best way to avoid the greatest consequences of doing wrong, is to exercise the return policy of going back to make it right.  When I took something that didn’t belong to me, and disciplined myself, I took it back and apologized.  To my surprise, the penalty was not as great as it should have been.  When I hurt someone out of pain, anger, or ignorance, and apologized, and made amends, sometimes I received a full refund and other times sufficient credit to let me know that my mom was right with the added knowledge that, ‘when you are honest and do what is right, you do more than get by, you get ahead.’  When I sowed seeds of selfishness, I didn’t like the crop that grew, but when I sowed seeds to help others, I found that my crop looked a lot better.