There was a time in my life when I was automatically drawn to the self-help section of a bookstore or library. Looking back, I guess I felt like I was not good enough, or that I needed to be more or do more. I can remember reading about the Renaissance period of history and wanting to awaken the renaissance man in me. It is interesting to note that the Renaissance period followed what came to be called the Dark or Middle Ages. During the Renaissance period there was a burst of creativity and achievement that changed the world. It brought the hope of possibilities that saw families, communities, and nations move into a new era. Yes, I needed enlightenment and renaissance in my life, as I emerged from a time of abuse and bullying on the one hand, and civil, social, national, and global unrest on the other hand. My parents would always say you can do anything if you set your mind to do it. So, I set out to have my own personal Enlightenment and Renaissance period. Learning from my mother and father, I learned to be a do-it-yourselfer, sewing, repairing my own cars, doing electrical, plumbing, and other home repairs.
In my childhood, my worldview was not only shaped by my parents and my personal environment but also by public events like the deaths of President John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy, and the devastation of riots in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio and in cities where relatives lived around the country. Yet, there was also an atmosphere of change and excitement that countered the negatives as well. So my desire for Renaissance and change were also driven by a desire to help bring about positive change in our world. While it is a noble desire to want to change yourself and the world around you, there is a danger in taking on the guilt, shame, and the weight of changing the world. Such a weight can lead to anger, anxiety, sleepless nights, psychotic breaks, and innumerable ailments and diseases. Having been through all of those and more, at this point in my life I am learning that any positive change that comes without peace of mind, joy in living, a love for people, and the love and for God will still result in sleepless nights, and vulnerability to anxiety and disease.
While I still what to grow and change, and I still want to see the world become a better place to live in, I no longer feel like this is a job for superman. Instead, I see through a slightly different lens when I take the time to experience the peace, power, and presence of God. While success is about personal discipline, cooperation and sharing, I am finding more value, wisdom, and direction when I spend quality time in the presence of God. As such, I am beginning to get a taste of what Jesus meant when he said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)