Growing up, my Mom would always tell us, “if you cannot find anything good to say about a person, don’t say anything about them at all.” I realize now, that in order to follow this dictum, you must at least attempt to find something good about the other person before you judge or criticize. When I thought of all the negative things I hear said about others just overhearing conversations in public, listening to politicians or advocates for justice, or just reading something online I thought to myself that there would be an eerie sound of silence in the world if we decided to look for the good in other before criticizing them.
In order to discipline our tongues, we must first discipline our thoughts. In order to discipline our thoughts, we must see the value in having a new outlook on life. When our outlook changes, what we do, how we think, what we say, and how we treat and interact with others will change. Emotional reactions can block clear thinking and lead to poor decisions.
The next time you are tempted to say something negative about a person, ask yourself is there anything good I can say first. If not, perhaps another cliché may help in this regard. “Whenever you form your hand to point at someone else in accusation, just remember that three fingers are pointing back at you.” When I deal with the three pointing at me, I usually have a different approach when I address the other person. There is also a poem I heard that I keep in mind to keep me disciplined:
“There is much good in the worst of us
And much bad in the best of us
So, it doesn’t behoove any of us
To talk about the rest of us!”