Our world is becoming more polarized by strong beliefs and emotions which are making it impossible for opposite sides to talk to each other. For those who have experienced divorce, you may have had a similar experience. It is amazing how two people, who once smiled and laughed together can become bitter enemies in the end. I believe it all begins with a disagreement. Small disagreements set the stage for future interactions. Whether you are a wife, husband, politician, teacher, or minister, we tend to become stubborn in our opinions and refuse to hear the other side. I disagree with you, and you disagree with me, whether verbally or non-verbally, and there is no middle ground.
Disagreements are actually very good for personal, business, political, and religious relationships, but they seldom perceived as such. When two people disagree, it gives them a chance to learn from one another, grow, and work better together. Too often in relationships we take an immovable stance in our opinions, and our pride will not allow us to hear or seek to understand the other person’s position. So, the subtle wars begin.
Here’s a suggestion, the next time you disagree strongly with someone, make a list of things on which you agree. You might have to ask questions to find out where you agree. Then write down the things you disagree on and ask yourself is there any truth in what they believe. This will at least make discussion possible without all out war. Like most growth and productive change, this will require discipline if we are going to be successful in benefiting from disagreements, versus going to war over them. The discipline of finding common ground is a practice that can save marriages, nations, and businesses.